A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Justin Bieber

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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