Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

copy me and i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did th-A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops