Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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