What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

Your mother is average.

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

child labor

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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