A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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