There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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BIG MAC'S

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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