What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Robert Mugabe.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +11

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops