What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Eric is gay Ha

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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