Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops