Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

Kobe Bryant passing the ball

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

Potassium? K.

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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