What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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