What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

irish man drinking john smiths

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

Rush Limbaugh

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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