What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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pobody's nerfect

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops