When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +28

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops