How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops