What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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