What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Boner

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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Small Penis.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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