2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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