What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops