What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops