What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops