Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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