A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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