What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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