What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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