Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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