How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

that wall over there ->

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a person who will soon die of beeties

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops