A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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