To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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