How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops