how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A young baby died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops