A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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