- Anti Joke

Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

kieran is a homosexual

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

Why Did the throw up He was sick

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops