How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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