Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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guess what what ...

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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