How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A muslim walks into a gun shop

thumb_up thumb_down -12

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops