Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

a chinese man pays the full price

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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