Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops