Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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