Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

Alchohol.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

kieran is a homosexual

Wait! hundred billions!

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

You are joking right?

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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