what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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