What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops