Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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