What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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