little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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A man walks into a bar

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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