How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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