How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Potassium? K.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops