How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Your mother is average.

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Roses are red, yup.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops