What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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