How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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