Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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karn chevalier

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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